The lost art of flirting

Where did it go too? Or is it just that men and women have stepped off a shared path and have different expections?

Back in my prime, a flirt started with a look, a soft smile and it went on like that for a while.....casting your eye over to the man at the bar, and looking away after another smile when you caught him looking at you. It went on to the buying of a drink.....sharing a conversation. I'd listen to him attentively, nodding and smiling, allowing the warmth of my personality to reach my eyes. And he'd nod and smile back and slowly but surely, we'd lean in slightly on our stools and knee's would touch. It wasn't we were frightened of leaping in to hardcore flirting, but we enjoyed that slow slow build up....that curling of the stomach at the smallest touch....the mind wondering whether the touch lingered or not. We'd take the time to laugh and lean in a little more, hands brushing against each other and the touches lasting just a little longer.

I remember one man, after a few hours in a crowded bar yet feeling we were sharing a very personal moment, my hair had dropped across my face and he reached over and gently slipped a finger along the strands of hair, and gently tucked it behind my ear again. My stomach lurched and a flood of feelings punched me hard, ranging from the fatherly protectiveness of that touch, to the intimacy of what a hand can do. As his thumb brushed gently across my face I fought an urge to close my eyes and turn my face into his hand....I think I closed my eyes for the briefest of moments and exhaled at the image of what I would like to have done.

Now when I sit at the bar, I still find myself catching the eye back of an interested party, but the buildup has gone. He comes over immediately and the conversation is quickly directly to innuendo's and it seems that is the marker used to gauge whether I am reciprocating his intentions. Respond to the innuendo and the green flag goes up, play too coy and he loses interest.

So where did it go wrong? Is flirting also a casualty of our 'I want it now' society? We no longer want to invest in saving up for something, we buy now and pay later. Has flirting gone the same way? Get the goods now, invest the time into the person later?

A close member of the family who is only 15 years old recently confessed to me she was sexually active. I held back the horror and the desire to berate and flood her with all the advice I wanted to give her. But in the following conversation she told me she had felt sure the time was right as they had been together for a long time. Curious as I had not heard of this boy til her confession, I asked how long she and he had been dating. 4 weeks. I feel sorrow for this generation, underage sex apart, they are missing out on the pleasures of all that excitment and buildup that preceedes that first sexual encounter.

Are they also losing the pleasures of good foreplay as a result? I suspect they are. If they are jumping from A to Z and skipping out most of the other 24 letters...it stands to reason they are not getting to experience the range of emotions and fun to be had.

Maybe we should bring back the concubines.....ladies to teach the men the art of tease and flirt as well as making love. Maybe we need to instill into our sons the importance of being articulate and charming as well as a good lover. Of course, in a truly equal world we would have men to teach our daughters the art of seducing a man, the art of conversation of how to tease and deliver in the right doses.

I feel we are losing something that gives such pleasure. In our rush to score a goal we are missing out on alot of great play. Bring back the good old days