A womans right to choose

There are days I just want to bang my head against a wall. This is one of those days. Abortions. .....yes, that old chestnut. But my frustrations here aren't over the moral right or wrongs of abortion but about whether men really have the right to say whether or not women have the right to choose.

Let me start at the begining. The arguement in question was about what rights women should have regarding abortions. Should they be allowed to [Quote] have the taxpayer pay for their mistake all because they were too lazy to check that the guy screwing them wasn't wearing adequate protection [end quote].

So firstly, I was pissed off that the 'mistake' is firmly pinned onto the womans lapel when the reality should be that both participants should be responsible in using birth control and the consequences of not doing so.
Secondly, why is it always the assumption that women who choose abortions are doing so as a form of birth control and that they are lazy......uneducated......etc etc?

Okay, so lets be honest here. As much as birth control should be discussed before the act of sex, and although we all know that the casual sexual encounter should be done wearing that rain mac because quite frankly, its about more than an unwanted pregnancy these days; we know that when push comes to shove, the general consensus is that its the woman that could get pregnant, therefore its the woman that should ultimately be responsible for birth control. Its a kind of get-out clause for men. Its a womans body at risk of pregnancy, so its down to them right? 'If she doesn't want to get pregnant, she should be on the pill' Right? So where does the man take responsibility? When an unwanted pregnancy occurs and suddenly he can't bear the thought of his heir and offspring being aborted?

Whether for birth control, or for medical reasons, or because she is being coerced or pushed into it....no-one really has any sympathy for the women in this position. I have heard (usually) from men that an unwanted child should be put up for adoption, or that a fetus with severe deformites should be allowed to take its chances. How does a man, who will never understand the physical feelings associated with carrying a child, ever be in a position of authority to tell a woman how her pregnancy should proceed.

I am not suggesting for a moment that his feelings don't come into it, or that he cannot take part in the joys, or tribulations of pregnancy. But the harsh rality is that he cannot experience the feeling of those first 'flutterings' or the way you rest a hand on your bump and feel him move around, the way he stamps on your bladder and has you running for thr bathroom. And a man cannot understand the dificulties undertaken by women considering abortion.

We'd like to think that abortions are in the domain of the illiterate or the uneducated young girl who without this means of birth control, would be popping out kids every other year to men than fail to stick around for more than a few months. But the reality is that the woman who typically has abortions is middle class, a housewife, usually with other children. And she's decided she doesn't want this one. It's a decision usually made with the support of her spouse and it becomes either their private hell or a shared release of breath as their joint decision means that life isn't about to become unmanageable.

Through our moral codes we have narrowed the acceptable reasons for abortion to the point where there really are none. Pregnancy through rape is not a good enough reason, the mothers safety isn't reason enough, a young girl pregnant with no parental or spousal support is not reason enough anymore. So we crucify these women who have made a personal decision for whatever their reasons, and we stand on our moral high ground and tell them how wrong they were, and we throw the label of murderer at them.

How have we as a society got to the point where we damn women for doing what is right for them. When did we lose sight of the fact that abortion is about a womans choice....its not the same as saying it's an obligation